Five Bathroom Blow Ups
It has been suggested that the average person will spend approximately 37% of their life in the bathroom. Actually, I just made that up, but I did check the stats just now and most estimates suggest around a year and a half. Still heaps. Anyway I just needed an excuse to segway into this post.
So here they are, five things that make me blow up in the bathroom:
1. SQUEEZING TOOTHPASTE FROM THE MIDDLE
Okay, I am opening with this one because it’s such a no-brainer yet so many people seem to get it wrong. It seems to me that there’s always one person in each household who commit the divorceable and unforgivable sin of squeezing the toothpaste from the middle or the top. Why?! Just why?! It makes no sense at all. Squeezing from the bottom not only allows you to get the maximum amount of toothpaste, but also makes it look mean as.
2. STOWING AWAY FREQUENTLY USED ITEMS
I understand that people want to keep bathrooms tidy. I do too. Tidy is good. Heck, I even clear my Snapchat feed every time I go on. But I do not agree with this idea that you should put everything away when you’re organizing your bathroom basin. I’m more or less (more) talking about toothpaste and toothbrushes. Why do they have to be put away? Do you not leave the toilet paper on the roller after using the toilet? Do you not leave your shampoo in the shower? So why put away the toothbrushes?
3. TOILET PAPER ROLLING ‘UNDER’
Many times I have entered a toilet and been heartbroken at the sight of a toilet roll incorrectly attached to the roller. Toilet paper must always be rolling over. There are many good reasons for this. First and foremost, why on earth would you make access to the paper harder? By going over, it’s way easier to grab (also prevents the dreaded wall touch – particularly significant for public toilet users). Also, rolling over means that the pattern of the paper is easier to see. This matters if you’re a consistent and methodical ripper like me.
By the way, I know some people have pets who go to town on over-rolled toilet paper. You had it coming for having a pet. Hopefully that will serve as a sign to you to get rid of your pet.
4. UNREPLACED TOILET PAPER
SIMPLE. If you finish the roll, then it is your responsibility (… or role) to replace the roll (refer to #3 to learn how). In the case of the awkward ‘pretty much used all of it, but if I leave it now then it looks like I’m being a scumbag and purposely not finishing it off just so I don’t have to replace the roll’ scenario, I suggest replacing it, and using the remaining toilet paper for wiping dust or picking up rogue body hairs on the floor.
5. UNFLUSHED TOILET
Maybe this is the most obvious one. A smart man once said “if it’s yellow, let it mellow… if it’s brown, flush it down.” – normally I would agree with him on other things, but I want to revise his statement to “If it’s yellow, flush it down. If it’s brown, flush it down. Then stay to check that it has flushed down. If it hasn’t, then wait for the water to refill, then flush it down again.”
When did it become okay to leave your poos and wees on display for the next person to see?
Anyway, those are five of my biggest bathroom blow ups (that is of course unless I’ve got explosive diarrhoea- classy). What about you? Are you an over or under roller? Do you deserve to have the life squeezed out of you for squeezing from the middle? Leave a wee textcrement below – just remember to flush.
(Sorry about the puns)
When you come to my house I’m gonna try and do all of these on purpose just to annoy you, except the flushing one, that’s just scody.
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I’m going to hurt you…
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Haha! I do all of these.
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I’m a let it mellow kind of guy. If it’s brown, don’t let it drown.
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Very useful advice within this article!
It’s the little changes that produce the biggest changes. Thanks for sharing!
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I agree with all of these points, thank you very much!
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Woohoo!
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These things are so funny and true!!!! I hate messy bathroom!
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its refreshing to know there are likeminded people
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I agree with this, all the things here. You have a very nice blog and I have a family friendly blog that you are most welcome to visit and comment on my posts anytime.
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amazing article
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This piece of writing posted at this web site is really nice.
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Very Insightful! I’m very tempted to print this out and post it in my children’s bathroom. You have an excellent writing style- thank you for the humor!
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You should never roll under.
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Refreshing
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I will need to teach my children about this!
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Thanks in support of sharing such a nice opinion, piece of writing is pleasant,
thats why i have read it completely
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Good insructions on the bathroom.
I will share with my family
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I could not refrain from commenting. Very well written!
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lol
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Funny blog.
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My friend shared this to me when arguing about toilet paper and I don’t agree with you but your mеans of eхplaining the whole thing in this post is genuinely nice, every one can without difficulty understand it, Τhanks a lot.
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This pοst is in fact fastidious, humoros.
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Always always always always roll over.
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Thank you for sharing the blog Darci but just because some guy has writen something online does not mean that it becomes true,
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Thanks Darci. You’re bringing a lot of traffic…
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I’m not going to budge on this issue Darci, I don’t agree with this blog!
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Looking forward o your next post
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LOL DARCI I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN
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Thank you, I cannot understand those who do not roll over.
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i have a cat who will maul any toilet paper that is rolling ‘over’
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Get rid of the cat!
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WOW just what I was looking for.
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Thank you a bunch for sharing this with all people you actually recognize what you’re speaking about!
Bookmarked. =)
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Attгactive section of content. I will be ѕubsribing
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never apologize for punny jokes!
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Darci, did you write this?
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No she did not. Chobson do Souza did.
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I put away everything from the bathroom.
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Clever work! I’ve incorporated this to my own blogroll.
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First of all I would like to say superb blog!
I had a quick question that I’d like to ask if you do not mind.
I was curious to know how you center yourself and clear your mind prior to writing.
I’ve had a hard time clearing my mind in getting my thoughts out there.
I do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes tend to be wasted just trying to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or hints?
Many thanks!
Rosie
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